Fathers Day: A tip of the hat or bend of the bill

For me, Father’s Day is met with mixed emotions. As is the case for millions of other children, I did not have a positive father figure in my life, the impact of which significantly altered how I viewed the world.

My birth father was killed in a car accident when I was 5 years old. My mother remarried a man who was abusive to her, my four sisters and me. The marriage failed.

My second stepdad was equally abusive. That marriage ran its course and ended in divorce when my sisters and I were in our teens.

My third stepdad was a decent man. He loved my mother and was good to us kids. But by that time, wounds from the past had healed into scars. A tough hide emerged, effectively eliminating any relationship between him and me.

When children feel unloved and unsafe growing up, the result is never good. I was rebellious and deep into the pit that comes from making poor choices. I left home at 16, became a dad at 17 and joined the Army to support my family. Later my wife and I became involved in a local church. It was there I met my true Father, the one I never had.

Life is about choice. You can choose to be a good dad to your kids no matter how you were raised. Children need to know they are loved and safe. That’s all! Toys, video games, or a closet filled with expensive clothes; none of those will mold your child into a healthy, responsible, law-abiding adult.

For those who know they can do better, be a better provider, protector, supporter, spiritual leader of your children, someone they can trust. By the grace of God, I learned how to be a good father to my children.

I encourage you to seek help if you need to to become that positive role model they desperately need. It will not only change the lives of your children but your grandchildren, great-grandchildren and countless future generations in your family.

To those fathers and husbands out there who are positive role models and made an effort to enrich their child’s life, I tip my hat to you and wish you the best of Father’s Day.